There are "things" that should be disclosed to potential romantic partners, yes? I'm guessing that for some of those things, there is disagreement on *when* those things should be disclosed. There are other things that most of us can probably generally agree when they should be disclosed. (Example: STD Status should be disclosed prior to a sexual encounter, yes?)
To the person whose LJ this came from, I'm not picking on you, this just got my wheels a-turnin'.
My question to you, LJ friends, is what information do you believe should be disclosed prior to a first date?
Also, if there are items that would be a deal-breaker, for even just a first date, whose responsibility is it to determine whether or not those items are a factor for the potential date? For example, if I would absolutely never ever even consider a first date with a Catholic, should it be my responsibility to ask potential dates their religion? Or should all people, knowing that for some people, religion is a deal breaker, automatically disclose that to potential dates?
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hippiecritter- Joella
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As for me- one major DO NOT WANT on my list is children...I would not date someone with children and I ask this question matter of factly before the idea of dating even comes up. I think it's better to know these things before there are feelings involved.
Edited at 2008-03-19 01:30 am (UTC)
I'm not sure that I have deal breakers...hard to say though since I've not been dating in years. I tend to take it case by case.
RE STD's I think that it should be revealed before any sexual activity takes place, conversation should definately happen.
I'd also say that regarding the first date, if someone was nonmonagmous but in a relationship, they should let the new date know they are in a relationship. I think I would want to know that.
Edited at 2008-03-19 01:40 am (UTC)
we were headed back to the office after court, and decided we needed some good sex BEFORE we made it back -- had been seeing each other for a time, and had been having sex - using a condom
well we had no condom with us -- i looked at him and said well i cant get pregnant and i have no stds -- YOU? he about drove off the road laughing
i said seriously dude, good time to answer and if you did! way before NOW would have been the time to mention it!
so as we checked into a motel -- our talk on the way there and the way to the room was -- exactly this what else should have already been discussed and are there any questions either side had lol
probably not the most common pre sex -- but it was a lot of frank honest exchange and a lot of laughs and then some really hot sex
love
t
You know, to answer this, I think I'd have to find someone I have romantic interest in that I'm not already friends with. (Such a problem..) But I have no real deal-breakers that you could admit to on the first date. I figure if the other person has any big hang-ups, they should ask me before it goes any farther.
Otherwise, the rest can be disclosed at the couple's own pace.
There's no need to bombard a person who might not click with you with too much info too soon. That's what the next dates are for :)