Skimming over my friends list, it looks like many of you had a lovely Thanksgiving. Some of you also had a not-so-lovely Thanksgiving. :( *snugs*

My life has pretty much been a blur since last Wednesday night, when Ty and I spent our "date night" watching The Mist (Don't waste your money. Ty does say the movie "Gigli" was worse, but....) and going out for drinks and live music. Then we ended up *censored* until 2:30 am, which made us less than thrilled to wake up on Thanksgiving to make the three hour trek to his mom's house. We did have a wonderful Thanksgiving with his mom and step-dad, despite the tiredness.

She made plenty of vegetarian food, and sent us home with a HUGE box of leftovers, which we are still trying to eat. Her "blessing" before the meal started with "Thank you, God, for my son, and for Joella, the best thing in his life". (Awwww!)

We watched the Packer's kick ass. (I can't believe I'm finally starting to understand football. I had totally given up hope of that ever happening, but Ty is patient. He doesn't try to explain it all at once, like everyone has in the past, but just lets me watch and ask questions when I think to, and then gets excited that I'm asking about it rather than making me feel stupid for not knowing.)

We got home at a decent hour on Thanksgiving. I took a bath and had a glass of wine, and then we curled up on the couch to snuggle and drink tea to the light of the TV. ( And that's when all hell broke loose... )

He comes across as a fighter, a protector. He is quite vocal and proud of
his physical strength, of all those younger, quicker, and fitter chaps that
he's whooped in the ring. He insists that anyone who wants to hurt his
children will have to get through him first. When his children needed
support in the way of dollars or fists, he was always the first in line.
When his daughters were young, he would go to the homes of the boys that
picked on them and "talk" to their fathers. The boys stopped their
harassment. Matter of fact, they stopped talking to the young girls
altogether. After his divorce, he was never late or short with the child
support payments, an accomplishment that he felt earned him the title "Good
Father".

( Read more... )

Boy, am I glad that is over! :x

Friday night, I hosted a ladies night (later named Vag Fest) at my house. Out of the 30-some women I invited, 4 showed up. Even though it was a small group, we're all pretty awesome vagina owners, so we had a blast. We barely put a dent in all of the food I made, which meant that I didn't really have to cook for the rest of the weekend, lol. We ended up heading to a bar near my house, and eventually ended up down-town, after which Lisa and I were driven home by a cab driver who thought my name was Chihuahua. That was a first. After I arrived home, I ended up staying up until the wee hours of the morning chatting with adudeabides and yayheaven.

My experiences Friday evening got me pondering on why I often find it challenging to develop close friendships with women. I'll save those ponderings for another day, though.

( Read more... )

A special thank you to adudeabides, yayheaven, and lotus_n_my_hair. Whether or not you realized it, you made my lonely weekend a lot less lonely. You are wonderful friends. :)

Today, it's back to the grind at work. Both my manager and supervisor are out this week, so I'll likely be signed on to the LJ Chat thing-o (the only IM I can use at work) most of the week. Hit me up! :D

I'm going to spam you with posts for the next couple of days to make up for my absence later this week. You've been warned. :p

I will apply liberal use of LJ Cuts.

This was a pretty fantastic weekend.

( Read more... )

Happy Monday, y'all, I hope your weekends were all as fantabulous as mine! :)

To summarize my (long) previous post, my long holiday weekend was complete with time with family, time with friends, lots of good food, plenty of "me" time (including lots of meditation, drumming, guitar playing, and reading), and a little pinch of progress and growth both personally and in my marriage.

I had a lot to be thankful for. :-)

Wow, for a five day weekend, that went by fast!!

I was sure I was going to make some headway on the list of entries to write, but alas, it was not to be. I was so busy with family, friends, and food (WAY too much food) that I didn't have much time for interneting.

Let's see...Wednesday morning began a 5 morning-streak of sleeping WAY too late. I slept until at least 10:00 am each day, which is completely unlike me, but it was much needed and appreciated sleep! Wednesday evening, I went with touretticmonkey (Ed) to a Vegan Thanksgiving dinner at his Grandparents' house. I was a little nervous to meet his Grandparents and his mom, (especially since they knew of me as "the married chick that Ed met online and dated briefly before deciding to be 'just' friends") but there was really nothing to be nervous about. His Grandma and Grandpa are absolutely delightful, and while I think it took his mom a little bit to warm up to me, I think we hit it off just fine. And the food was incredible. After dinner and tea we all sat around in the living room just talking and sharing stories and such. It was very nice!

( Read more... )

Under the cut are a couple of pictures from my dad's recent 50th birthday party.

( Read more... )

Argh.

I did the un-thinkable on Sunday and got into a discussion about religion with my mother. (A devout Christian of the born-again variety.)

( Read more... )

This past weekend was the third awesome weekend in a row. When did I start having such fun weekends? No wonder you people always look forward to them so much. They rock!

The weekend actually started off Friday afternoon with a minor medical scare for Ryan. He came in to the clinic, and was worried and scared, so he wanted me to go in with him. I got to watch another woman (of the doctor-ly variety) stick her finger in his butt. I guess he hasn't been putting me on all this time when he says he's REALLY not into that. :x Turned out it was nothing serious, thank goodness.

( Read more... )

Yeep! That got really long!

Last weekend, Ryan and I went to Kenosha, his home town, because his band was playing a gig at his Aunt's brother's bar there. We ended up going down Friday night to spend an extra night with his family.
( Read More...Image Heavy... )

Life is a bit of whirlwind right now, in mostly good ways. :)

I've just come off a great weekend, we took the dogs to camp at a music festival my hubby's band was playing in, and had a BLAST. Saw lots of friends, met some new friends, and everyone one was warm, friendly, and didn't mind my hugginess. I partook (a very small amount) of a psychedelic mushroom treat, and that tends to make me quite huggy. I had a lovely time, and all of Sunday evening radiated love and beauty all around me. The dogs behaved marvelously at their first festival. They were quite popular. It's been at least a year since I've been to a festival like that, and it felt like home. I'm always in my element amongst all the hippies, and surrounded by my kind of music. Good stuff.

This week we're trying to get our house in order before we take off for the weekend to Ryan's home town. His band has a gig there, and we'll be spending the weekend with his mom's side of the family and some of his long-time friends. This weekend promises to be filled with as much fun and love as the last, though in a wildly different environment.

Ryan and I have been putting a lot of focus on our marriage and on it's continued growth. We were stagnating for a while there, and our renewed passion for our relationship is invigorating. We've been spending a little time at least a couple of nights a week in conversation about our marriage, discussing where we've been, where we are, and where we'd like to head together. We've also been revisiting discussions of polyamory and how it shapes up for us. (More on that when I have more time.)

I've also met someone local who I share a lot in common with, and who I'm in the process of getting to know a little better, but based on past experiences, I don't want to say too much about it early on. I'll just say that it's exciting and refreshing to make a good connection with someone new, and leave it at that for now.

Love and Peace to all y'all! :)



ETA: I've had some additional requests for Declarations of Coolness, which I'm looking forward to writing, but may not have the opportunity to do so until next week. Sit tight to those of you waiting on them! :)

I'm gonna go ahead and cut for length right off the bat.

( Read more... )

-Started drinking at 8 am.
-Got to meet and hang out with iam_misbehaving, who took lots of probably awesome pictures!
-Saw lots of Ryan's family that we don't get to see often.
-Watched the guys put on an AWESOME show.
-Got DRENCHED, windblown, and hailed on in the severe storms that slammed us shortly after the guys got done playing.
-Had an interesting bus ride home, with everyone (including me) shedding as many articles of wet clothing as possible.
-Stopped at a bar half way home and watched various band members/groupies sing bad karoake.
-( cut for sexual content )

I just came across an e-mail from my dad from a few months ago, in which he shared some things that I had been unaware of regarding my heritage from his side of my family. My sister had been working on a project for school that required the information, and I had been curious how my Great-Grandfather, who at that time had recently passed, ended up with the last name "American". (Like, were we descendants of the very first Americans, or something, lol?)

For security/privacy purposes, my actual last name will be replaced with J*. Here's what he shared. (This is mostly for my own reference, though some of you may find it interesting, I suppose.)

( Read more... )

Last night, I got drunk-dialed.

By my MOM!!!

0.0

Masturbating (well, actual sex is preferable, when possible and practical) is a great way to start the day. :D

My new sex toy order was on my desk when I arrived at work. (I order them through someone who works here.) I would have prefered she stuck the bag in one of my drawers, rather than just plop it on my desk, but at least it's in a stapled-shut bag, I guess. I bought something just for Ryan. (I'd link to the item, but I'm at work, and the page is blocked. Apparently sex toys are "adult content". Pssh.) I hope he likes it. *fingers crossed*

I'm down to 1 can of Diet Coke a day, from 3 or 4. When I did the raw foods cleanse last week, I was surprised that I didn't experience much trouble with the lack of caffiene. No headaches, no fatigue, nada. I decided to phase it out all together, and I think it'll be easier than I thought. (Not that this means I'll never again consume a caffienated beverage, just that I won't depend on it every day.)

My mom called to ask how the transition to veganism is going. That was very thoughtful of her. I appreciate how supportive she is of my decision. I was nervous about sharing it with her, as she and my step-dad make their living off the dairy industry. (The business end of it, not the agricultural end.) She concluded that I am entitled to my thoughts and opinions, and that she's proud to have raised a daughter who lives by her morals, even if she doesn't share them. My mom rocks.

Mangoes are my new favorite fruit. They are a little nibble of heaven!

1. Leave me a comment expressing interest in being interviewed
2. I will respond by asking you five questions.
3. Then update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others ask to be interviewed, ask them five questions.


3,4, and 5 above are subject to your discretion. I have no idea how many people will be interested in being interviewed, but I'm only going to promise interviews to the first 5 commenters, since my on-line time will likely be minimal this week.

Here are kittygopounce's questions, and my answers.

( Click! )

Q: This is asking for elaboration regarding the children question. In a poly relationship, where do you think that children will fit into this? Do you think that other relationships with people other than your husband will cease once children come into the equation?

A: I don’t see being actively polyamorous and having a family as being in conflict with one another. My child(ren) will “fit into” my life as my top priority, regardless of any romantic relationships, intimate friendships, or platonic friendships I may be involved in at the time. I would not end relationships with people other than my husband any more than I would end friendships with other people, after having a child.

I’m not into casual or anonymous sex, so my child(ren) will not be exposed to a stream of strangers coming in and out of my (and their) life. I believe that it’s valuable for children to have a network of caring, supportive, trusted adults. When I was growing up, I was closer with many of my mom’s good friends than I was with my biological aunts and uncles. I’m still in contact with those people to this day. If my mom had been having a sexual or physical relationship with any of them, I’m sure I wouldn’t have known about it as a child, and I’m relatively sure that it wouldn’t affect the way I feel toward those people now that I’m an adult.

Friendships and relationships will be explained to my child(ren), and their questions answered, in an age appropriate manner. My parents never discussed the specifics of their sex life with me, and I don’t intend to discuss mine with my child(ren). I think it’s positive and healthy for children to see adults expressing affection for each other, and I don’t intend to hide that from them. I plan to teach my child(ren) that physical affection is natural and healthy, and that it’s okay to show affection for people that you care about. I don’t believe that affection such as hugging and kissing needs to limited to one person, even in monogamous relationships (though I respect that some monogamous couples may not allow for hugging and kissing others; that boundary is their choice.).

So, yeah, to wrap that up, I do not see having an open marriage as some sort of “sowing my wild oats”, or as some phase that will end when we decide to have/adopt children.

Q: What were your teenage years like? full of angst? being a bookworm? doing drugs on the corner? being head cheerleader?

A: Oooohhh…teenaged hippiecritter was..."troubled". As a teenager, I started to realize some things about my father, and about my relationship (or more accurately, lack of relationship) with him. I started seeking attention from guys in hopes of filling the gaping hole that being neglected by my father left in my heart. I developed a reputation for being a "slut" by the age of 14. Not because I was having sex (I was a virgin, and remained a virgin until age 17), but because I always had a boyfriend, and the relationships never lasted very long.

I didn't get along the best with my mother. She was very strict with me. I wasn't allowed to do the things or go the places all my friends were doing/going, so I was always lying about where I was and what I was doing, and I was always getting caught lying. Then I'd get grounded. It was a vicious cycle.

I was involved in choir, show choir, and theatre in high school. Most of my friends were from the music "circle". I was unpopular with pretty much everyone else. I was obnoxious in class. I mouthed off to teachers a lot, and was generally disruptive. I thought home work was stupid, so I either didn't do it, or turned it in late. My grades reflected this. It frustrated both my mom and my teachers. They kept telling me I was smart (I always did well on tests), and had so much "potential" if only I'd do my homework. I didn't think I was smart. If I was smart, my dad would love me *cue violin music*.

I went through periods of severe depression, contemplated suicide at several different points, and generally felt sorry for myself and thought that life sucked. I thought that I was worthless, that I didn't deserve good things in life, like love and happiness. I started smoking pot when I was 14, and started cutting class to smoke pot or drink (with boys) shortly thereafter. It didn't take me long to move on to harder drugs. I liked being high. Stuff didn't hurt as much, and it was easier to laugh, and not be so self conscious and anxious.

After high school, things went from bad to worse, in part because I got into an emotionally (and on several occasions, physically) abusive relationship, which I stayed in for 2 years. Things finally started to turn around for me when, at age 20, I met and started dating (and eventually married) Ryan. He saved my life.

Wow. That was a long answer to a pretty simple question. :x

Q: Are you and Ryan planning on having kids someday? I don't know that you've broached the subject, or not recently anyway!

A: Yes, we plan on having a child some day. I can't answer specifically when that will be. We’re in the process of paying off some specific debts, and I’d like to get those paid off, and then work on a substantial savings account before we start trying to conceive. I feel strongly about not returning to work (at least, not full time) after I have a child, so I want to wait until that's a more realistic possibility, financially speaking.

I've maintained, since the start of our relationship, that I think (for me) 30 is a good age to start trying to have a baby, but there's a possibility we could start trying before that. Ryan loves children very much, and is eager to start our family. If I were to tell him tonight that I'm ready to start trying, he'd be all for it. (But I won't, so don’t get any ideas!)

At this point, I only plan on having one biological child. I feel selfish even wanting one of my own, with all the children already in the world in need of good homes and loving families. If we want more kids after our first, we’ll consider foster parenting or adoption.