Thanks to alyska, I was just reminded of my most embarrassing sex toy story.

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I recently posted a poll, inquiring first, whether or not people feel it is acceptable for parents to lie to their children, and second, whether or not people feel that telling children Santa exists is lying to them.

I was fairly surprised that the answers to the first question were pretty evenly divided. 14 people voted that it is acceptable for parents to lie to their children, 16 people voted that it is not acceptable. The answers to the second questions weren't quite as close, with 17 people voting that Santa is a lie, and 12 people voting that Santa is not a lie.

I haven't responded to the comments left in the entry, but found them very interesting to read. I appreciate all of the comments left. Not surprisingly, there were a handful of people commenting to justify the lie of Santa. And several comments from parents who discussed the types of lies they feel it is acceptable to tell their children. I very much appreciate the input from people who are parents. I am not yet a parent myself, so surely there are situations that may occur that I cannot predict how I might handle.

Oh. For the record? I do not feel that it is acceptable for parents to lie to their children, and I do think that telling them that a man named Santa brings them presents is a lie.

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Last night, the hubby and I got into a discussion about circumcision. (Which, as you probably know, is the surgical removal of some or all of the foreskin of the penis.) A note-that link may not be safe for work, as it contains photographs of both flaccid and erect circumcised and un-circumcised penises.

Now, let me start by saying that at this time, I consider myself neither anti-circumsion, nor pro-circumcision, but I lean towards "anti". Let me also say that I am aware that circumcision is a religious rite in certain religions, and that I know there are people of said religions on my friends list. I am not judging the religious practice, and mean no disrespect to those people or their religions.

The main reason I don't have a super-solid position on this is that, as a woman, I do not possess the anatomy affected by circumcision. As such, I am unclear what sort of stigma is attached to having, or not having, foreskin on one's penis, and how it might affect a young male growing up. (To the men reading, I encourage you to weigh in on this.)

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Q: This is asking for elaboration regarding the children question. In a poly relationship, where do you think that children will fit into this? Do you think that other relationships with people other than your husband will cease once children come into the equation?

A: I don’t see being actively polyamorous and having a family as being in conflict with one another. My child(ren) will “fit into” my life as my top priority, regardless of any romantic relationships, intimate friendships, or platonic friendships I may be involved in at the time. I would not end relationships with people other than my husband any more than I would end friendships with other people, after having a child.

I’m not into casual or anonymous sex, so my child(ren) will not be exposed to a stream of strangers coming in and out of my (and their) life. I believe that it’s valuable for children to have a network of caring, supportive, trusted adults. When I was growing up, I was closer with many of my mom’s good friends than I was with my biological aunts and uncles. I’m still in contact with those people to this day. If my mom had been having a sexual or physical relationship with any of them, I’m sure I wouldn’t have known about it as a child, and I’m relatively sure that it wouldn’t affect the way I feel toward those people now that I’m an adult.

Friendships and relationships will be explained to my child(ren), and their questions answered, in an age appropriate manner. My parents never discussed the specifics of their sex life with me, and I don’t intend to discuss mine with my child(ren). I think it’s positive and healthy for children to see adults expressing affection for each other, and I don’t intend to hide that from them. I plan to teach my child(ren) that physical affection is natural and healthy, and that it’s okay to show affection for people that you care about. I don’t believe that affection such as hugging and kissing needs to limited to one person, even in monogamous relationships (though I respect that some monogamous couples may not allow for hugging and kissing others; that boundary is their choice.).

So, yeah, to wrap that up, I do not see having an open marriage as some sort of “sowing my wild oats”, or as some phase that will end when we decide to have/adopt children.

Q: Are you and Ryan planning on having kids someday? I don't know that you've broached the subject, or not recently anyway!

A: Yes, we plan on having a child some day. I can't answer specifically when that will be. We’re in the process of paying off some specific debts, and I’d like to get those paid off, and then work on a substantial savings account before we start trying to conceive. I feel strongly about not returning to work (at least, not full time) after I have a child, so I want to wait until that's a more realistic possibility, financially speaking.

I've maintained, since the start of our relationship, that I think (for me) 30 is a good age to start trying to have a baby, but there's a possibility we could start trying before that. Ryan loves children very much, and is eager to start our family. If I were to tell him tonight that I'm ready to start trying, he'd be all for it. (But I won't, so don’t get any ideas!)

At this point, I only plan on having one biological child. I feel selfish even wanting one of my own, with all the children already in the world in need of good homes and loving families. If we want more kids after our first, we’ll consider foster parenting or adoption.

Today, I received a new letter and photograph from Jessa, one of my sponsored children. :D

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Not only does no one in the tri-state area have school today, but I got sent home from work!

They called a "Code Grey" at the clinic, which means all staff who are non-essential for patient care (That would be me!!) have to hit the road. You'll hear no complaints from me on that.

So, a few minutes ago, there was a knock on my door. I opened it up to four rosey cheeked little boys asking "Can we help you with your snow?". My first thought was that even if they shovel now, with the amount of snow coming down, I won't even be even to TELL that they shoveled an hour from now, but I just smiled and said "Sure! What's your price?" They asked if 2 Quarters each would be too much. I said "Why don't you go ahead and get started, and I'll see if I can do better than that."

I came back out with a dollar and a quarter for each of them, and they looked like they'd won the lottery.

Now, the length of sidewalk in front of my house is...oh...maybe 30 feet long? (I'm guessing) With four of them shoveling, it took all of about three minutes, so I'd say they got paid pretty well for their time. Maybe they'll come back when the snow's done falling and finish up, lol.

Today I received a letter on behalf of Oscar, one of my sponsored children, written by his aunt.

( It made my day! )

To read more about my experience with child sponsorship, click the "sponsorship" tag below.

Yesterday, the letter from Jessa arrived!

( More Sponsor-y Goodness! )

X-Posted to childsponsors

I have received my first letters from each of my sponsored children! Words cannot express how excited I was when each envelope arrived. I tore into them like I had won the sweepstakes!

( Sponsor-y Goodness )

X-Posted to childsponsors

One of my purposes in life is to make a difference in the world around me. I want to positively affect as many people as I possibly can in this lifetime. I want to make the world a better place, and I want the people in it to have the best lives possible, with plenty of opportunity and hope.

I’m not one for material things. I don’t have lots of fancy electronics, or a fancy car, or a big fancy house, or fancy clothes, or fancy anything, really. Still, I have a lot, compared to a lot of people. I’ve had many opportunities in my life, opportunities to learn and grow. I’ve been lucky to have never had to worry about whether I might get to eat tonight, or whether I could afford to go to the doctor if I got sick.

When I was a child, my chores were things like vacuuming the carpets, and washing the dishes with water that came out of the faucet already heated. They weren’t things like sweeping the dirt or cement floor, or carrying water to my house from a river or well.

So I know that there are all these children in the world, living in deplorable conditions, poverty stricken, hungry, sick, and unable to attend school, and it breaks my heart. But I'm just one person. Not even a wealthy person. So there's not much I can do, right? WRONG.



Yeah…I’m going somewhere with this….stay tuned for my next post. ;)

Last night I had a bit of an epiphany. (/extreme exaggeration) Ryan said something like "I can't believe tomorrow's already Thurdsay", to which I responded "I can't believe tomorrow is ONLY Thursday." Apparently this week is going much faster for him than it is for me, which could be due, in part, to the fact that this is the first full work week I've had in a while.

Anyway, I went on to say that its just that I prefer NOT going to work to, you know, GOING to work, and he figured that most people probably feel that way. What I realized is the trap that most people, in our society anyway, fall into. We go and work some dumb job, in order to make money to pay for a car to drive us to the dumb job, and to pay for a house, that sits empty while we're working the dumb job to pay for it. Then maybe we have a kid or two, and then we have to return to the dumb job in order to make enough money to pay someone else to watch our kids while we're working the dumb job to pay for the house that sits empty.

This, my friends, is the real reason (or at least, the biggest reason) that I'm putting off having kids. I want to be a stay at home mom. Or, at the very least, only have to work part time. I want to raise my kids myself, with my values, not cross my fingers and hope that a daycare provider will teach them the way I would. I like the fact that I'm fairly independant financially, that I count on no one but myself to make sure my bills get paid. But yeah, stay at home mom. That's my dream.

( tonight )

After 3 months of nagging (I don't nag about many things, but when I do nag about something, I nag until its done) our entire yard is fenced. I no longer have to panic when a bunny runs out of the yard, or someone walks down the alley, that one of my dogs will take off. That's a good feeling.

We went to a housewarming party for some friends who just bought a house. There house is just PERFECT. I brought them a plant, and told them about all the gardens I envisioned in their yard (HUGE LOT) and Tony says "I'm deathly allergic to bee stings. No flowers." I say "Well you'll just have to get an epi-pen!" I brought them a sedum for their housewarming gift.

There were lots of pregnant people, and lots of babies and little kids at the party. I saw Ryan look at a pregnant belly, and then look at my belly, and I could tell he was picturing me with a pregnant belly. I told him not to get any ideas, and he started chanting "Baby! Baby! Baby!" Nope, not any time soon, especially with the possibility of him being away A LOT for the next who knows how long.

I do love kids though, and they love me. A little boy, Shawn, who I'd not yet met, came up and wrapped his arms around my legs, he had a little tiny car clutched in each fat little fist. He looked up at me and yelled "I WANT DJ'S CARS!!!" I said "You want his cars?" and he said "Can I have his cars?" I told him I didn't think he could HAVE them, but I bet if he asks nice and says please, DJ will let him play with them for a little while. So he walked up to DJ, sweet as can be, and said "DJ, can I please play with your cars for a little while?" and DJ said "SURE!" He looked at me and smiled, and I said, now make sure you say thank you! that was NICE! So he turned to DJ, looked him in the eye, and said Thank you!

A woman watching the whole thing said "You should be a teacher!" Funny that, I always thought I would be! When I recounted it for his mom later, she was astounded he said please and thankyou. Animals and kids. (and some men!) I just have a way with them!

Quote of the evening was Jesse's mom. She was telling me what a nice husband I have, and I said "Yes, I made him that way!" She said.....


"Men are like linoleum. You lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for life!"

(Disclaimer: I don't condone "walking all over" anyone, but the quote was funny, nonetheless.)